Life update: On just being me

Whoa. Okay. It's been a long time. I'm not dead! Things have just been a bit mad. Here's some stuff that's been happening.


1. I've been working full time and going to uni full time and that is never a good idea. It just sort of happened with the way my modules for my master's fell this year. And it's been crazy. I don't know how people do it for extended periods of time. I'm spending basically all my time either at work or studying, with one or two nights a week out with friends just to destress a bit. It's left me with basically no time to play music or write, which sucks.

2. I've decided I'm done with playing life on hard mode. You know what, a lot of people do work full time and go to uni full time, and heck maybe have kids and volunteer and do all sorts of stuff on top of that. That's fine. But it's not working for me. I need my life back. I'm cutting back on classes next semester and I've decided to take another year to finish my dissertation. At the end of the day, no-one will give you an award for working more than 60 hours a week or rushing yourself though a master's degree. So yep. Done with that.

3. I'm feeling better about things than I was over the summer. I had a pretty melancholy summer, to be honest. Without uni, I was feeling a bit... adrift. I was having friend problems, and relationship problems, and gender identity problems (more on that later) and my job wasn't giving me any satisfaction. I was starting to have a crisis about what I was doing with my life and my career and all that. Then I broke up with my girlfriend of four years. I spent a few days in bed, then rang up my friends and started to make amends for everything. Uni started again, and I felt like I was home again. I'm trying to stop comparing myself to other people. There is no life pattern and I shouldn't feel guilty about what I have and haven't done with my life so far. I'm only twenty-four, for god's sake!

4. I've come to accept my gender identity. So, I identify as non-binary, specifically genderqueer. Basically, I don't feel like a man or a woman, or I'm somewhere in the middle, or a little from column A, little from column B. I've felt like this all my life and been aware that I identified that way for years and years... but I never really accepted it. Presenting myself as a butch/boyish lesbian was easier for people to understand. Existing in the space between two genders was terrifying, so I just didn't really... talk about it or think about it all that much. I mean, I would mention it if it came up, but it was always under a sort of caveat of "But I'm still a woman, mostly!" or "But I'm never going to change my name or get surgery!" And well, neither of those things are necessarily true. I was hiding because I was scared to be myself, that no-one would understand, that no-one would want to date me, that I was just a) cisgender and wanting to be a special snowflake, b) a trans guy in denial, c) incredibly sexist by thinking being masculine meant I couldn't be a woman, d) incredibly sexist by thinking by being feminine I couldn't be a man. Yeah. My brain is exhausting.

Basically at some point I just kind of went, fuck it. Fuck all that fear, I'm just going to be me and do what I want to do and identify what feels right to me, and if that doesn't make sense to other people, that's not my problem. I started using they/them pronouns in some situations, started using the more gender neutral name Gee, stopped worrying that every time I wore a binder it meant I was actually a guy and every time I wore a dress I was actually a girl. And you know what? It's wonderful. People have been so much more accepting than I could ever have guessed and there's such a weight off my shoulders now that I can be myself.

So for the record: I use both Gemma and Gee and she/her and they/them and it doesn't make a huge difference to me what people use. I probably prefer Gee and they/them, but I don't mind one bit if people call me Gemma and she/her, especially if they've always known me as Gemma or they aren't used to using gender neutral pronouns. So, anything goes :)

5. In spite of all the drama in my life, I've actually been reading quite a lot. Last year I read 100 books on the dot, and with just over a week left of 2016 I'm on 127 with five more on the go. I've read some wonderful books in the last few months, and my drafts are full of reviews I started but never finished. Hopefully I should get to do a round up before the year's out.


So, there we have it, a brief tour through my crazy life. Fingers crossed that as soon as my essays are done and handed in (why does my university want to ruin Christmas, why) I'll have a bit more time to spend on the blog. So many exciting things are coming up! There's Bout of Books, which unfortunately falls the week before my assignments are due- or fortunately? Be a good excuse to squeeze in some relaxing reading breaks between writing essays. There's Bex's re-readathon (which I'm actually co-hosting, eep). There's the Discworldathon, also by Bex, which I'm very excited about- I've only read a few Terry Pratchett books and I've been meaning to get into him more, so this is the perfect excuse.

Anyway, it's been good to catch up. Hope you all have a lovely Christmas with lots of books and tasty food :)

Minireviews: Hark! A Vagrant, Different Seasons, and We Should All Be Feminists

I've really dropped the ball on writing reviews lately... oops. Part of the problem is that I've been rereading a lot, and writing reviews of rereads is quite difficult- as they tend to be books I love, and there's not much more I want to say other than the odd comment on new things I've picked up on, and the rest is just me going READ THIS, READ THIS NOWWW IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

But, yeah. Here's some reviews all the same.

Hark! A Vagrant! by Kate Beaton
So the problem with having such a groaningly large pile of unread books (185ish, at last count...) is that there are so many books I was super excited to read when I bought them and then just... didn't. I have no excuses for this one in particular, as it's short and consists of comics. I read most of it while waiting for my mother to come out of a doctor's appointment, actually.

In case you haven't met the delightful Kate Beaton's work yet, she writes short, funny comics based mostly on history or classic literature. My favourites are, as you can probably guess, the ones based on books I particularly love. For example, Sherlock Holmes:



And the Brontes:



I seriously love it.

But yeah, there's some ones about things I don't necessarily get (Canadian history, hello) but mostly this book was delightful. So much so that I immediately bought Beaton's next book, Step Aside Pops after I finished this. You can also find most of her stuff online but having it in book form is just so much nicer, ya know?

Different Seasons by Stephen King

First of all I want to complain about this book's many titles. It's known as Different Seasons, The Shawshank Redemption, Apt Pupil AND Stand By Me, depending on the edition. To make matters worse, my copy says Different Seasons on the spine but The Shawshank Redemption on the cover. This is greatly annoying to me.

Anyway. This is a collection of four novellas: Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption, Apt Pupil, The Body, and The Breathing Method. The first three of these were made into movies, none of which I've ever seen.

Stephen King tends to be pretty hit or miss for me, and likewise I enjoyed some of these more than the others. Apt Pupil was by far my favourite- it's about a teenage boy who discovers his elderly neighbour is a former Nazi commander, and they end up in this really twisted codependent relationship of blackmail and lies. It was really interesting to read from a psychological point of view, and the passages that deal with the Holocaust really bring home that real horror exists in real life. Which is the most terrifying thing of all, really.

The Body (which became the movie Stand By Me) was less about a body than about growing up and coming from a broken childhood. The whole thing was really well written and I enjoyed it a lot.

The Breathing Method is a weird little piece of genuine horror, which is hard to describe without giving away the ending.

Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption was probably my least favourite of the bunch, to be honest. It's interesting as far as anyone escaping from prison is interesting, but it didn't really do much for me.

Overall then: I liked this a lot. It's definitely not up with my favourite Stephen Kings, but it's still in the top half of my mental ranking.

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

This is another book I should file under 'SHOULD REALLY HAVE READ BEFORE NOW'. But I don't even really remember buying it, and it wasn't even on comprehensive list of books I own but haven't read- which has led me to fear the number is actually far exceeding the 185ish...

Anyway. This is based on a TED talk Adichie gave, based on, well, read the title. When it comes to me reading about feminism it really is a case of preaching to the choir, but this one was interesting on the argument that feminism is for everyone, not just white Western women. Which, yes. If I hear one more person say that only rich white Western women worry about feminism, I think I'll scream, because hello, feminism is a worldwide movement concerned with everything from rape culture in Ameican colleges to FGM in Somalia. Anyway. This is well-argued, short, succinct, and you can read it in 10 minutes. So there's no excuse :)

#20BooksOfSummer Wrap Up & RIP

Way back in June, you might remember that I was super excited to spend my summer reading books and stumbled across the #20BooksOfSummer thingy, which I wrote about here. My plan was to read much more than 20 books, and in the end, I read 25. Yay! Out of those, 11 of those were on my original book pile list, and I'm still reading another two. So, all round better than I expected.

The next reading thingy is RIP (Readers Imbibing Peril), a challenge to read more creepy/scary/spooky/mysterious books in the lead up to Hallowe'en. I'm all for this- looking forward to Hallowe'en is the best way to chase those post summer blues! I'm going to be taking part in the first level, which is reading four books that fit the theme of the challenge before 31st October.

I actually don't read this sort of genre that much... but two books I'm currently in the middle of fit the bill, so that's a good start! The two books in question are Ghost Story by Peter Straub, which I've been reading forever because my library e-book keeps expiring, and The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, which maybe isn't scary exactly but there's a murder in it, so that'll do.

As far as the others go... I actually want to use this time to reread some books that handily fit the criteria! Here's a few I'd like to get around to reading:

- Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry- the definitive book about the Manson case. I loved this when I read it a few years ago and I've been looking for an excuse to reread it. The Manson case is so disturbing on so many levels- the violence and horror of the murders themselves, and then the cult element which is fascinating to me. This book also functions as a riveting courtroom drama which is so interesting to read.

- Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ranson Riggs - I read this when it came out and don't remember it very well, so I need to reread it before the movie comes out. Owes its place in this list purely because of those photographs *shudders*

- Night Film by Marisha Pessl - Seriously creepy book about the apparent suicide of the daughter of a cult horror movie director, and all sorts of messed up stuff about the family arises. This book has multimedia elements which I missed out on during my first read as I didn't have a phone capable of reading the QR codes. So, I obviously need to remedy that and get the full experience!

I also recently bought My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix as part of a big birthday money/gift voucher book splurge and I'm super excited to read it. It's by the author of Horrorstör which was surprisingly good (and possibly another candidate for rereading soon). This is another multimedia adventure- I've got the enhanced e-book edition- and it even includes an 80s Spotify playlist. So, super exciting!

So, that's the plan for the next couple of months. What are you planning to read in the lead up to Hallowe'en? :)

Bout of Books #17: Saturday and Sunday

I've been reading:
Shirley by Charlotte Bronte (pp. 75-92)
Pages read today: 18
Total pages read: 738

Um, yeah, so not a lot of reading happened this weekend. I was super busy- but in a fun way, involving going cool places with good people so it's all good. I was at work pretty much all day Saturday, then went out with an old friend I haven't seen since New Years. We went to the pub with a bunch of other people, taking up a table in the smoking area most of the night, drinking, talking rubbish, laughing a lot. It was really lovely.

Then Sunday was the Belfast Mela Festival, which is an annual festival dedicated to celebrating different cultures in Northern Ireland. There's music, theatre, crafts... and most importantly food. I got some seriously badass Vietnamese noodles.

Oh my god, these were amazing.

I hadn't been to the festival in years but there's just something so lovely about it. Northern Ireland is still so overwhelmingly white/British/Irish and xenophobia and racism can and have been serious problems here- so it's nice just to have something where differences are celebrated and shared. My little corner of Belfast is the most ethnically diverse area of Northern Ireland, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anyway! All that led to very little time for reading. Oh well. My grand total pages count for the week is 738 pages, which isn't shockingly good or anything, but it's probably more than I would have read otherwise, and ain't that the point? That's me at the end of my epic nearly-three-weeks of readathonning. I think I'm going to kick back tonight with something on BBC iPlayer and maybe some colouring in :)

Bout of Books #17: Friday

I've been reading:
Shirley by Charlotte Bronte (pp. 1-74)
Different Seasons by Stephen King (pp. 378-440)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J K Rowling (pp. 421-494)
Pages read today: 211
Total pages read; 720

Pretty successful reading day today! Had a good stretch of time to myself before I went into work in the evening so I got plenty read.

I've finally started Shirley- Jane Eyre is probably my favourite book of all time (or one of them anyway) so I've been trying to read Charlotte Bronte's other stuff. So far Shirley is delightfully weird and different. I love how Bronte seems so determined to set her work out from other stuff out there, not wanting to be mixed up with sentimental romances and even Jane Eyre, saying on the first page that this is going to be "as unromantic as Monday morning". CB, I love you. So far it's feeling a bit like Middlemarch.

Still on "The Body" in Different Seasons. Kind of impatient for them to get to the body, tbh. But yeah, I guess that's the point!

Meanwhile in HP, (spoilers just in case you've somehow avoided them) Mr Weasley's been attacked by the snake, we have THAT SCENE with Neville and his parents in St. Mungo's, and Snape is teaching Harry occlumency. OotP is probably actually one of my least favourite books in the series (too drawn out for me) but I love the fallout with the occlumency and Harry finding out his father wasn't all that great. So I'm looking forward to getting to that bit :)

Bout of Books #17- Thursday

I've been reading:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (pp. 290-420)
Pages read today: 131
Total pages read: 509

Another busy day today- I had various messages and work and uni related things to sort out, plus a bus trip back home. I get terribly travel sick on buses so reading was absolutely out of the question- or so I thought! I downloaded the audiobook of Order of the Phoenix from my library's OverDrive and got a good chunk listened to while careening around those stomach-churning country roads. Ugh, on a hot day as well... let's just say I was very glad to get off the bus.

I won't get much more reading done tonight, as I've got work in a bit. A combination of GCSE results night and a concert in the vicinity means it'll probably be crazily busy, so... at least I won't be bored, anyway.

Bout of Books #17: Wednesday

I've been reading:
Ghost Story by Peter Straub (pp. 229-251)
Different Seasons by Stephen King (pp. 321-377)
Pages read today: 80
Total pages read: 378

Today was a bit of a dud on the reading front. My mum came up to visit and we spent a very enjoyable day going around charity shops and homeware shops, where I bought yet more Doctor Who related kitchen stuff and yet more cat-related bedding. Hey, at least all the stuff in my house matches...

Afterwards she persuaded me to go home with her- I didn't need much persuasion, really, my parents' house is full of cats and tasty food- and then with dinner, then The Great British Bake Off, then playing with cats including one that doesn't even belong to us but who likes to invite himself in now and again... reading didn't really happen much. Oh well.

I gave up on trying to finish Ghost Story before it expires tomorrow at noon- it just wasn't going to happen. Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer for the ebook to be available again. I also read the first fifty or so pages of "The Body" in Different Seasons and I'm enjoying it, although I did recently watch the The Simpsons episode parodying it, so... that's a hard visual to get rid of, lol.

Bout of Books #17: Tuesday

I've been reading:
Ghost Story by Peter Straub (pp. 142-228)
Different Seasons by Stephen King (pp. 277-320)
Pages read today: 131
Total pages read: 298

Once again, I fell asleep in the middle of the day today which threw off my reading efforts. I really need to stop doing that... I need to realise that closing my eyes for just ten minutes never actually takes ten minutes.

Anyway. I got a good chunk of Ghost Story read, and as my ebook expires on Thursday I'm going to make it my priority between now and then. I also finished "Apt Pupil" in Different Seasons, which I really enjoyed, especially as everything fell apart towards the end. The next novella was the basis for the movie Stand by Me I believe, which I've never seen but I know the gist of it.

Bout of Books #17- Monday

I've been reading;
Ghost Story by Peter Straub (pp. 81-141)
Different Seasons by Stephen King (pp. 186-276)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J K Rowling (pp. 274-289)
Total pages read: 167

I'm off work from today to Wednesday, so I was hoping to get lots read today... and whilst I didn't do too badly, I'm not really sure where the time went! I did manage to fall asleep for three hours this evening which wasn't really the best...

Ghost Story is starting to pick up after a slow beginning which is good. The narrative is all over the place- skipping between characters and time periods- which was a bit unsettling at first but I think it actually makes sense and adds to the creepiness factor- I just want to know what the horrible things are that they all keep referencing!

I'm nearly at the end of "Apt Pupil" in Different Seasons and I'm really enjoying it. It's about a boy who discovers his elderly neighbour was a Nazi officer and thinks he can manipulate him, when they're actually sort of manipulating each other, and things have spiralled to really disturbing levels. It's so brilliantly done with the levels of psychopathy and vulnerability that the characters have and I just know things can't end well.

Only read a little of Order of the Phoenix, but it's the bit where Umbridge is on the warpath at Hogwarts and sits in on McGonagall's class, which is hands down one of my favourite McGonagall moments. The levels of sass displayed are through the roof.

Today's challenge: Book to Movie

Today's challenge is hosted by Lori at Writing My Own Fairy Tale and asks us simply what our favourite and least favourite book to movie adaptations are. 

I actually studied book-movie adaptations at undergrad and I have so many opinions and feelings about the subject, so I had to think about this one for a while! I tend to be pretty laidback when it comes to adaptations- by their very nature, adaptations aren't supposed to be carbon copies of their source material. There are movies I consider to be not very good adaptations but still very good movies (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince cough cough). That said, some adaptations are just plain awful.

Least favourite: Northern Lights/The Golden Compass

      

I often forget just how much I love the His Dark Materials series- and about ten years ago I was hardcore obsessed and couldn't wait for the movie. So I think it's the bitter disappointment I experienced more than anything else that makes me call this my least favourite adaptation. There was just too much rubbish going on behind the scenes- religious groups panicking about the atheist message of the story, which to be fair is a lot more subtle than so many people make out- as a preteen reading these books it definitely went way over my head. So it seems the makers decided to dilute that aspect, along with, well, any other theme or plot. And as a result we got a sub-par kid's fantasy, with plot holes galore and an altered ending, instead of the wonderfully imaginative, complex book we know and love. It's been nine years, and I'm still not over it. The BBC are allegedly making an adaptation though, so fingers cross that'll work out better.


Favourite: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz/The Wizard of Oz

  

This probably makes me a terrible Book Person, but I actually prefer the movie to the book. Shock, horror, I know. Mostly this just has to do with how The Wizard of Oz is one of the best movies ever made and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Sure, there are things left out of the movie- the fact that there are two good witches, for a start!- but ultimately it captures the spirit of the book wonderfully, I think. And it's a musical. It really doesn't get any better than this.

Bout of Books is here!

The Bout of Books read-a-thon is organized by Amanda @ On a Book Bender and Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal. It is a week long read-a-thon that begins 12:01am Monday, August 22nd and runs through Sunday, August 28th in whatever time zone you are in. Bout of Books is low-pressure. There are challenges, giveaways, and a grand prize, but all of these are completely optional. For all Bout of Books 17 information and updates, be sure to visit the Bout of Books blog. - From the Bout of Books team

Yep, hot on the heels of the re-readathon, I'm jumping straight into Bout of Books. I'm enjoying just chilling out and reading these days. It seems to be just what I need right now. I'm also aware that I'm going back to uni in a few weeks, so it's good practice to get back into reading (I'm a post-grad lit student, and my lecturers regularly assign us 2+ books a week, per class.) So, this is not just me finding an excuse to lie about and read and eat sweets. This is me preparing for my future.

Um, yeah.

Anyway. I don't have a specific book pile, just the books I'm currently reading and some vague ideas if I finish these.

         

First up, I've got Ghost Story by Peter Straub, which Stephen King called one of the finest horror stories of the 20th century. I'm not really sure what to make of it yet. Basically, I read the first 50 pages and then my library e-book expired, and I've only just got it back a month later. Actually, since the re-readathon got in the way I might only have a few days left on my loan... oops. Anyway. We'll see how this goes.

Then there's Different Seasons by Stephen King, which is a collection of four novellas, most of which I believe were adapted into movies I have never seen. I'm about halfway through the second novella, "Apt Pupil". Stephen King tends to be a bit hit or miss for me, but I'm enjoying this so far.

I also want to finish Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I started during the re-readathon. What can I say, it's Harry Potter, it's awesome, and I may end up reading the rest of this in one sitting.

After this, I'm thinking of Shirley by Charlotte Bronte, and then raiding whatever e-books my library has to offer. We'll see how the week goes :)

Rereadathon #4- The Second Half!

Day 7
What I Read:
The Magicians by Lev Grossman (pp. 59-123)
Moranthology by Caitlin Moran (pp. 70-130)
The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters (pp. 406-416)
Pages read today: 137
Total pages read: 1398

Another day where I feel like I didn't read that much, but I actually sort of did. I'm getting properly into The Magicians now- the characters' time at college is passing quickly and the Big Bad has revealed itself. I'm remembering why I loved it so much the first time around. I've also remembered there's a TV adaptation, and am debating with myself about whether to give it a go or not. I love this book so much, you see.

Moranthology is kind of a weird one as I'm realising how dated everything is- Gordon Brown is still Prime Minister, Lady Gaga is still the biggest thing in the world and BBC's Sherlock has only just started. It's weirdly nostalgic. And there's no way any of those things were six whole years ago (or more), nope. Not at all.

The Paying Guests is so tense I actually feel nervous myself reading it. I don't really remember how it ends either, which is just adding to the effect. I could barely put it down to go to work this evening. But I'm off for the next two days- hopefully I should finish it tomorrow or Thursday :)


Day 8
What I Read:
The Paying Guests (pp. 417-499)
The Magicians (pp. 124-174)
Moranthology (pp. 131-163)
Pages read today: 167
Total pages read: 1565

I had high hopes for my day off, but I ended up having one of those days where I didn't particularly do anything productive. I'm home to see my family as it's my brother's birthday tomorrow, where I read a bit, but mostly I just ate sweets and played with cats. I also ended up watching the first episode of the Syfy adaptation of The Magicians, which was actually pretty decent? It deviates from the book by quite a bit and I've heard it deviates even more as it goes- and I've also heard the series drops in quality a fair bit as it goes on, but there's something about it. I'll probably watch the next episode, at least.

In the actual book of The Magicians, I've just read past the wonderfully weird bit where they go to the South Pole and are transformed into foxes and have an orgy. I'm guessing this won't be tackled in the series... but I suppose I should wait and see ;)

Also, Moranthology continues to be delightfully dated, with a bit about Moran's visit to the Doctor Who set, wherein Freema Agyeman is the new upcoming companion. Oh, that was so long ago...


Day 9
What I Read:
The Paying Guests (pp. 500-565) (finished)
The Magicians (pp. 175-255)
Moranthology (pp. 164-222)
Pages read today; 206
Total pages read; 1771

I had a lovely day today out shopping with a dear friend who I don't get to see often. Highlights of our trip included listening to the A Very Potter Musical soundtrack in the car, being talked into buying books in The Works so she could make up the 3 for £5 deal, and being given part of the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child display by a nice worker in Waterstones. All in all, it was just pretty wonderful.

I even got a fair bit of reading done when I got home, too, despite also managing to fall asleep for a couple of hours after dinner. I finished The Paying Guests by plowing through the last sixty pages in a very short amount of time- even though I eventually remembered the ending, the whole thing is so tense I couldn't seem to read fast enough. Now I feel a little emotionally exhausted. I seriously forgot how intense that book is.

Day 10
What I Read:
The Magicians (pp. 256-303)
Pages read today; 48
Total pages read: 1819

I didn't have the chance to read much today, as I was still home at my parents' house and, as always happens when I'm there, getting out of bed is much harder when you've got a very cute, cuddly cat lying on top of you. So, yeah, sort of spent the morning sleeping until I had to leave for work in the afternoon.

I'm getting confused between The Magicians and its sequel The Magician King- there's things I'm sure happened in the first book, but it seems that I was wrong... I really need to reread the sequel too soon, and finally read the last book in the trilogy :)


Day 11
What I Read:
The Magicians (pp. 304-402) (finished)
Moranthology (pp. 221-288)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J K Rowling (pp. 1-47)
Pages read today: 213
Total pages read: 2032

On the home stretch now! I've finished The Magicians and am proud to report it's just as good- if not even better- than I remembered. I'm super keen to read the sequels now.

I've also started Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix kind of on a whim. So the plan for tomorrow is to finish Moranthology and then see how far I can get in Order of the Phoenix to bring this re-readathon to a nice finish :)


Day 12
What I Read:
Moranthology by Caitlin Moran (pp. 289-354) (finished)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J K Rowling (pp. 48-273)
Pages read today; 292
Total pages read:

It's the end!

So I went for a run this morning and it was super warm and sunny and I thought "This is awesome! Maybe I'll bring my book to the park! I haven't had the chance to do that much this summer!" But as soon as I got home, storm clouds started to gather and the day turned into the grey wet miserable late summer weather we all know well. So I just curled up indoors with Harry Potter instead. It was genuinely great; it's so good to be back at Hogwarts.

Closing survey!

How many books did you end up re-reading?
I read a grand total of five books in their entirety- The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters; Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates; How to Build a Girl by Caitlin Moran; The Magicians by Lev Grossman; and Moranthology by Caitlin Moran. Plus the first third-ish of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. That worked out as a grand total of 2324 pages- the most I've read in a readathon in a very long time and also well above my usual reading rate!

Which was your favourite re-read?
I think probably The Paying Guests. I think a re-read was really needed, because on my first read of this book I was basically just going "OMG NEW SARAH WATERS SARAH WATERS OMG" the entire time. I could appreciate the tension and the characterisation a lot more this time around.

What do you feel would have made the re-readathon a better event?
I sort of agree with what Bex says about the difficulties of hosting it on her own- but at the same time, the hands off approach is kind of nice too. Kind of puts the emphasis on the reading, as opposed to obsessively updating, if you know what I mean (okay, so I obsessively update, but that's just me and my obsession with keeping track of things, haha)

Anything else?
Thank you Bex for hosting another re-readathon! I genuinely love these events. It's so good to just lose yourself in old favourites. And unlike a normal readathon, you're much less likely to run into a dud, so it's basically a week or so of pure wonderful books :)

Re-readathon #4!

I always love Bex's re-readathons. I'm a huge fan of re-reading but in a world of towering TBR piles, it's something I don't make enough time for. So it's a great excuse to kick back with some old favourites!

On a highly personal note, this re-readathon has come at the perfect time- very recently, my relationship with my partner of four years ended. So I'm in dire need of some self-care and burying myself in books I love seems to be just the ticket.

I'm also (gasp) not making a TBR pile this time around. I'm a big fan of lists and pictures of piles of books, but I'm thinking I'll just grab whatever feels right. It's going to be that kind of week and a half, I think!

Anyway. Here's the opening survey:

1. Who are you and where are you reading from?
I'm Gemma and I'll be reading (mostly) from Belfast in Northern Ireland.

2. Do you re-read often? Is this your first re-readathon?
Like I've said, HUGE fan of re-reading. I'm honestly suspicious of people who don't re-read. I think I've participated in all of Bex's re-readathons so far, with varying degrees of success!

3. Are you planning to read other things or re-read exclusively over the next 10 days?
I'm not sure! I'm in the middle of Different Seasons by Stephen King at the moment and I'm hesitant to abandon it for 10 days- I'm actually really enjoying it- but then, as I've said, I'm just going to go with the flow and read what I want. Which is something I don't do enough, really.

4. Recommend us one book, what would it be?
Hmm, I feel like I should recommend a re-read considering the type of readathon this is! Of course I don't know what people have read so... Classics are a good place to start. Re-read Jane Eyre! Or Pride and Prejudice! Or The Picture of Dorian Gray! Or the Harry Potter series or The Lord of the Rings... the question said one book, right? Whoops.

5. What are you reading first?
I've already kicked off with two books: The Paying Guests which is Sarah Waters's most recent book, about a woman and her widowed mother who take in a lodger couple in 1922 London, and Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates, one of my absolute favourite feminist books.

I'm planning to update this post at least once a day, and maybe start another if it gets a bit unwieldy :)


Day 1
What I read;
The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters (1-46)
Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates (1-126)
How to Build a Girl by Caitlin Moran (1-88)
Total pages read: 260

I was off work today so I took a little trip into town to get some shopping and then came home and spent most of the day reading in bed. I'm all about staying in bed these days, but at least I'm sleeping less and being halfway productive, even if it is under a duvet! You gotta do what works for you. Plus it was super cold today for some reason... I fear summer is over.

Anyway. The Paying Guests is reminding me why I love re-reading books- sometimes when you have knowledge of what happens later in the book, the start of it seems completely different. And that's all I can say without being spoilery :)

I later switched to Everyday Sexism, which is just as horrifying, if not more so, than I remembered. The way you can't question sexist attitudes and jokes without being told you've got no sense of humour, the women who are assaulted and then asked what they were wearing, the primary school girls who are taught not to aspire to too much... it's all ringing a little too true with my own experiences. Such an eye-opening read.

To stop getting too depressed/ragey, I then picked up Caitlin Moran's brilliant semi-autobiographical coming of age tale How to Build a Girl. This is my third read of it, and it still makes me laugh. And it's oh so relatable to anyone who was ever an awkward teenager (everyone, then).


Day 2
What I Read:
The Paying Guests (pp. 47-123)
Everyday Sexism (pp. 127-160)
How to Build a Girl (pp. 89-148)
Pages read today: 171
Total pages read: 431

Today I woke up feeling pretty good for the first time in ages, did some reading, went to Tesco... and then burned myself out and fell asleep, waking up ten minutes before I had to leave for work. Oh well. I'm getting there. Someday soon I'll be a functional human being, but not just yet.

I'm pretty caught up in reading The Paying Guests, so I think I'll try to read a good chunk of that before bed. The reason I love Sarah Waters is her period detail which is so wonderful it pulls me right in. I can taste the pinwheel sandwiches and smell the burn of waved hair :)


Day 3
What I Read:
The Paying Guests (pp. 124-181)
Everyday Sexism (pp. 161-233)
How to Build a Girl (pp. 149-240)
Pages read today: 223
Total pages read: 654

I'm actually surprised I read as much as I did today, honestly- I'm still struggling with, well, getting out of bed- accidentally had a two-hour lie in this morning, and then spent much of my pre-work reading time messaging with my friend about Harry Potter and the Cursed Child-era headcanons (Ron and his dad like to discuss the merits of various Muggle cars, Luna sends the Potter kids bit and pieces from her travels which bewilder everyone but delight Lily, and so on).

But I still made reading progress! Most notably in How to Build a Girl. I'm remembering another reason I love this book so much- the portrayal of Johanna's sexuality. So many books deal with horny teenage boys, but female masturbation still seems like a taboo most of the time. So I'm enjoying Johanna's adventures as a 'swashfuckler' (best word ever).


Day 4
What I Read;
The Paying Guests (pp. 182-206)
Everyday Sexism (pp. 233-310)
How to Build a Girl (pp. 241-245)
Pages read today; 108
Total pages read; 762

Busy day today, so I didn't get the chance to read too much- I had a long shift at work, and then afterwards I spontaneously ended up at my friend's house, where we watched Tallulah, the new Ellen Page movie in which she plays a troubled drifter who kidnaps a baby. It was actually really good, and made better in the special way that watching movies with good friends can only do- lots of yelling "Don't do that!" and "Why doesn't she just...?" at the screen.

I mostly ended up reading Everyday Sexism, which is a weird mixture of extremely readable and also not something you can read in large chunks, as you just end up too angry. I'm nearly at the end- I'm on the chapter about how sexism is bad for men too, which is such a welcome inclusion in the book- so I might get to finish it off tomorrow.


Day 5
What I Read:
The Paying Guests (pp. 207-299)
Everyday Sexism (pp. 310-382) (finished)
How to Build a Girl (pp. 245-343) (finished)
The Magicians by Lev Grossman (pp. 1-58)
Pages read today: 323
Total pages read: 1085

So I um, read quite a lot today. What can I say, things were getting juicy in The Paying Guests and I was so close to finishing the other two it would have been a crime to put them down. I even went to work somewhere in between all those pages. I was just having one of those days where I don't particularly feel like doing anything except reading, so, that's what happened.

I have to say, I am struggling with this whole 'be spontaneous! Read what you feel like!' thing. Mostly it's just making me stare at my bookshelves/kindle in despair and indecision. I'm a planner, what can I say.

Out of said despair and indecision, I picked up The Magicians by Lev Grossman which I last read in 2012. I remember loving it to bits, but I'm a bit hazy on the details. The funny thing about this book is that it has so many varying opinions and people seem to love it or hate it, and also it's been described in so many weird and not entirely accurate ways. My copy, for instance, makes it seem like some Dan Brown-esque thriller with not even a mention of magic in the blurb. I've heard it called the adult Narnia (sort of but not quite) and 'if Bret Easton Ellis wrote Harry Potter' (a bit closer to the truth). Basically, main character Quentin Coldwater discovers that the Fillory series of books he loved as a child (and still secretly loves) (and which are also literally the Narnia books) are real, magic is real, and he gets accepted in Brakebills College of Magical Pedagogy. Magic turns out to be ridiculously tedious and difficult, drugs are plentiful and the post college fantasy world isn't all that great. It's pretty much a book for people who've had embarrassing fantasies about living in fantasy books and there's little digs at Harry Potter in it which I find pretty funny.


Day 6
What I Read:
Moranthology by Caitlin Moran (pp. 1-69)
The Paying Guests (pp. 300-406)
Pages read today: 176
Total pages read: 1261

I was feeling a bit sad for having finished How to Build a Girl so I picked up more Caitlin Moran in the shape of Moranthology, which is a collection of her journalism. I think I actually read these back to back the first time I read them too. Isn't it funny how you read some books in clumps?

I spent the morning before work getting sucked into The Paying Guests, where shit has really hit the fan. I forgot how good this book is, actually. My overriding memory of it from my first read was 'good and all, but not her best' and it's amazing how different I feel when I don't have that weird pressure/anxiety that comes from reading a new book by one of your favourite authors. The period detail, the creeping tension... I'm seriously loving it. It's making me think about picking up some more Sarah Waters this readathon, though I think most of her books are at my parents' house, boo.