Belated 2016 wrap up

It wouldn't be me if I published this post anywhere close to the proper time, now would it?

I read so many good books this year, you guys. I also read considerably more this year than I did last year, which is also super. I tried to make an effort to read more of my own books as well as just sort of following my heart by reading what I wanted to read and not what I 'should' be reading, and it all paid off pretty well I think.

Here's some statistics!

Total number of books read: 130
This is up from an even 100 last year and I'm super happy with that, as I'm finally back to something resembling what I read in previous years. Yay!

Number of books I read that I own (as opposed to library books or books borrowed): 91
Last year I actually only read 23, so this is a huge improvement. Huge. I think I have acquired a lot more books last year than I did last year so the number is probably affected by that, but even so. I'm really happy about this.

Nonfiction: 17
Down from 25 last year. I'm not particularly bothered about this number; I've always read mostly fiction and I don't really see that changing much.

Books written by men: 59
(This number gets trickier as I read more and more books by non-binary writers and it's not so simple as dividing it into books by men and books by women... but this is books written by exclusively men, not including non-binary writers and books with male and female contributors)
This is up from last year, but it's most likely skewed from reading for my MA, which was heavy on men this year *mutter mutter*

Rereads: 28
Higher than I thought and higher than last year's 18- again I blame my MA, where I even ended up reading some of the same books from class to class, because my uni's organisation skills suck. Still, most of the rereads were pretty damn good. Although I have now had to read Heart of Darkness FOUR TIMES in my academic career. I didn't enjoy it the first time, I didn't enjoy it the fourth time. Plz assign different books, any lecturers who might be reading this.


And now, a little run down of my top ten of the year, in no particular order because otherwise this post would have taken probably even longer to finally get up:

 

Lumberjanes Vol. 1: Beware the Kitten Holy

I loved this, and I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't reread it since my first reading. In case you haven't encountered it, it's a graphic novel about a bunch of girls at scout camp "For Hardcore Lady Types" and their adventures. My only complaint about this was that it was so short (even by graphic novel standards) but I should make up for that by reading more Lumberjanes in the new year.


Am I Normal Yet? by Holly Bourne

A wonderful look at being a mentally ill teenager and most importantly, what happens after you think you're getting your life back on track. AKA, a topic that is never discussed enough in any fiction let alone YA. There are three more in the series and I'm really hoping to get through at least some of them in the new year!

Nimona by Noelle Stevenson

This was really the year for fun graphic novels. It's difficult to describe the plot of Nimona, but suffice to say it involves a shape-shifting protagonist, superheroes, villains and dragons. Just read it. Trust me.

Hark! A Vagrant! by Kate Beaton

I love it when two things I love come together, and here it's literature and piss-taking cartoons. You've probably seen her cartoons everywhere, and here they are in book form! Yay!

Asking for It by Louise O'Neill

It's hard to say that I loved this book... because reading it was a really, really unpleasant experience. I've tried to write a proper review post for this like it deserves but there are really no words. This is about rape and a small town and consent and the awful justice system. It will make you despair and make you angry, but it is so, so important, and so, so well written. I'm still in shock at how much this book affected me.

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

Amanda moves in with her dad and starts her senior year in a new high school, but she has a secret- she's transgender. There were some problems with this book- Amanda's super-quick transition is unrealistic and her portrayal as super feminine can be seen as a bit problematic- but Russo addresses these issues in her epilogue perfectly reasonably- this is a story about a girl with a secret, first and foremost, and the situations you find yourself in when people don't know who you really are. It's always so good to read good LGBTQ+ fiction that addresses something other than initially coming out and by the end, I was frantically wiping away tears while sitting on my lunch break at work. I loved this.


The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!) by Anna Pulley and Kelsey Beyer

Okay so with a title like this you might be wondering how this could ever possibly live up to its promises. And it does! This is actually a really clever, hilarious look at lesbian culture, illustrated with adorable cats. What's not to love?


The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson

I picked this up without much knowledge about it other than that it was queer and everyone was raving about it. Honestly, I'm still not really sure what to call it! Part philosophy, part memoir, part polemic. This is a sort of personal account of Maggie Nelson, her non-binary partner, and her pregnancy, with meditations on feminism and queer theory and parenthood. I read this mostly in one sitting and absolutely loved it.


Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl by Carrie Brownstein

I'm a big fan of Carrie Brownstein, Sleater-Kinney and basically everything else she ever touches. This is a memoir focused on her life in a rock band and everything that involves: personal struggles, professional struggles, inter-band struggles... it's wonderfully honest and makes for some very sad reading at times.


Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

Actually the very last book I finished this year, and what a book to go out on! I've been aware for years of this book as a lesbian/transgender classic but am only finally getting round to it now. Part of me wishes I got to it sooner, but part of me is also super glad that I'm reading it right now, as the lines between lesbian and man, male and female, start to shift a lot in my own life. I loved the history, I loved the politics, I loved the gender stuff... seriously going down as one of my favourites of all time. (Also, since Feinberg's death this is available as a free PDF on hir website, so what have you go to lose?)

Bout of Books 18: Saturday, Sunday and Wrap Up

Saturday
I've been reading: Only Ever Yours, Public Library
Pages read: 109
Books finished: Public Library
Total pages read; 480
Total books finished: 2
Essay writing progress: umm

It feels like I didn't really do anything on Saturday. I had a friend stay over on Friday night and she had to get up super early for work, which then woke me up for ages so I stayed in bed until I had to go to work in the afternoon, pretty much. I still somehow managed to read quite a bit though.

I finished my second book, yay! I know I said I wasn't really feeling Public Library but I actually did like it quite a bit when I'd finished. Whether that's because I got used to the format or because the later stories were actually better, I don't know. It's my third Ali Smith book and I'm still thirsty for more.

I'm absolutely loving Only Ever Yours, and I only stopped reading it when I realised how close to the end of Public Library I was and wanted to finish that before bed. It's such a wonderfully constructed universe. Things seem to be getting interesting now so I can't wait to read more.



Sunday
I've been reading: The View From the Cheap Seats
Pages read: 88
Total pages read; 566
Total books finished: 2
Essay writing progress: one down one to go, woo!

I'm actually surprised I read as much as I did as today felt super busy for me. I was in work all day and then had to come home and finish the essay that's due on Monday- which I did, just in time for Sherlock, yay! And then I just went to bed after Sherlock because that episode was emotionally exhausting, omg.

But, no. I read a good chunk of The View From the Cheap Seats. I'm still sort of in the section of the book that I'm not really into- about writers and books, most of whom I've never read. Mostly it's interesting, but I'm keen to get onto other stuff.



Wrap up

So how did I do? Well, I read 566 pages and finished 2 books, which isn't actually that far off my goal, especially considering I had such a crazy week with writing essays. I'm super happy with all my reading choices and will hopefully finish Only Ever Yours and The View From the Cheap Seats in the next few days :)

Bout of Books 18: Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday

Wednesday
I've been reading: The Beauty Myth, Public Library
Pages read; 20
Total pages read: 175
Essay writing progress: actually pretty good... until I hit a wall


Off work again today, so I decided to dedicate most of the day to essay writing. It... sort of worked. I did get a lot done, and I am starting to see the end of the road (thank god), but I sort of hit a brick wall towards the end. You know when you're on Buzzfeed or whatever, with your essay open in another tab, telling yourself you're still working even though you're not? Yeah.

And my lazy mood sort of spread to reading as well, so I didn't manage quite as much as I'd like today. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.


Thursday
I've been reading: Public Library, The View From the Cheap Seats, Harry: A History
Pages read: 131
Total pages read: 306
Essay writing progress; end is in sight, thank goodness


I had work today, so I did a little bit of essay writing when I got home and then took the rest of the night to relax and read. It actually worked out pretty well! I finally achieved the page count goal I set out to do.

I'm still not quite feeling Public Library. Normally I get on with short stories pretty well, but this time I'm just feeling disjointed. I'm loving the little reminiscences about libraries in between the stories though.


Friday
I've been reading: Harry: A History, Only Ever Yours
Pages read: 65
Books finished: Harry: A History
Total pages read: 371
Essay writing progress: finally hit the minimum word count on my first one, yay :)


Pretty productive day for reading and essay-writing! Okay, so my page count isn't the best but I did finally finish a book. Harry: A History was wonderful; I learned a lot but I also remembered a lot (remember when someone found Order of the Phoenix in a field before it was released?) It's made me eager to crack on with my Harry Potter reread.

Bout of Books 18: Goals, Monday, and Tuesday

The Bout of Books read-a-thon is organized by Amanda @ On a Book Bender and Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal. It is a week long read-a-thon that begins 12:01am Monday, January 2nd and runs through Sunday, January 8th in whatever time zone you are in. Bout of Books is low-pressure. There are challenges, giveaways, and a grand prize, but all of these are completely optional. For all Bout of Books 18 information and updates, be sure to visit the Bout of Books blog. - From the Bout of Books team

(or, in other words, it's an excuse for me to avoid my responsibilities and binge read)

I was in two minds about whether to sign up this time round, as I have two big essays due next week and this week is crunch time for me, but in the past it's actually worked out pretty well for me to have something in my free time to distract me from potential academic doom. And what could be better than reading some awesome books?

Goals: 
I want to read 100 pages a day, or 700 pages total for the week, or finish 3 books. If I achieve any of these goals I'll be thrilled, but mostly I just want to read as much as I can and have fun.

The book pile:
These are all the books I'm currently reading:

(I swear this photo was not taken in a cave)

From top to bottom:

Public Library by Ali Smith: I'm about halfway through. This is a collection of short stories interspersed with thoughts about libraries. I'm enjoying it, but reading it off the back of How to be Both probably wasn't the best idea, because, well, few things live up to that.

The View From the Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman: Just gone halfway through this. A collection of essays, speeches, and introductions by Neil Gaiman. There's a lot of stuff about writers and things I have no knowledge about, but I'm finding it weirdly compelling all the same. I also have the audiobook of this, should I want to mix it up (mostly I just really love Neil Gaiman's voice, okay)

Harry: A History by Melissa Anelli: I'm about two thirds through this. A history of the Harry Potter fandom, written by the webmistress of one of the biggest HP fansites. Even though I got into HP internet fandom late, there's still a lot of joy and nostalgia and yes I remember that! Super interesting.

Only Ever Yours by Louise O'Neill: Only just started this. I loved loved loved O'Neill's Asking For It and this is described as Mean Girls meets The Handmaid's Tale, so how could I not?

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf: Just started this. A feminist classic arguing that beauty is used to control women in the same way domesticity and motherhood has been used in the past. I have a feeling I won't be reading this one much, actually, as I'd like time to read it properly and think about it and digest it. But the notion might take me, so I included it anyway.


Monday
I've been reading: The View From the Cheap Seats, Harry: A History
Pages read: 62
Essay writing progress: zilch, oops.

I had an early shift in work today, and my intention was to come home, sleep for a couple of hours and then get stuck into uni work for the rest of the evening. Instead I sort of slept through my uni work time. Oops.

I did get some reading done though! I read a couple of essays from Cheap Seats before that ill-fated nap. I'm on the section "On Comics and Some of the People Who Write Them" and it's all things I know basically nothing about, but I'm enjoying it all the same. It reminds me a bit of Jo Walton's What Makes This Book So Great which I read around this time last year, in that it makes you care about books and authors you've never heard of.

Harry: A History is great too. I'm reading all about the ship wars, something I managed to avoid back in the day (I only really got into internet HP fandom just before Deathly Hallows, when the question of Harry/Hermione or Ron/Hermione was basically settled) but it's funny how it relates to other fandoms I've been part of since. Fans, you crazy bastards.



Tuesday
I've been reading: Only Ever Yours, The Beauty Myth
Pages read; 93
Total pages read: 155
Essay writing progress: much better, thankfully

Today I actually got shit done, which was nice for a change. Okay, so I stayed in bed an extra two hours accidentally this morning, but then I cleaned the mess that is my room and went to Tesco and even got a fair bit of essay writing done. Not to mention very nearly hitting my 100 page target.

It's a very weird experience reading Only Ever Yours and The Beauty Myth back to back. Last night in bed, half asleep, I read about evangelistic weight loss programmes and genuinely thought for a moment I was still reading dystopian fiction... alas, I was not.

Only Ever Yours is really great so far.

Life update: On just being me

Whoa. Okay. It's been a long time. I'm not dead! Things have just been a bit mad. Here's some stuff that's been happening.


1. I've been working full time and going to uni full time and that is never a good idea. It just sort of happened with the way my modules for my master's fell this year. And it's been crazy. I don't know how people do it for extended periods of time. I'm spending basically all my time either at work or studying, with one or two nights a week out with friends just to destress a bit. It's left me with basically no time to play music or write, which sucks.

2. I've decided I'm done with playing life on hard mode. You know what, a lot of people do work full time and go to uni full time, and heck maybe have kids and volunteer and do all sorts of stuff on top of that. That's fine. But it's not working for me. I need my life back. I'm cutting back on classes next semester and I've decided to take another year to finish my dissertation. At the end of the day, no-one will give you an award for working more than 60 hours a week or rushing yourself though a master's degree. So yep. Done with that.

3. I'm feeling better about things than I was over the summer. I had a pretty melancholy summer, to be honest. Without uni, I was feeling a bit... adrift. I was having friend problems, and relationship problems, and gender identity problems (more on that later) and my job wasn't giving me any satisfaction. I was starting to have a crisis about what I was doing with my life and my career and all that. Then I broke up with my girlfriend of four years. I spent a few days in bed, then rang up my friends and started to make amends for everything. Uni started again, and I felt like I was home again. I'm trying to stop comparing myself to other people. There is no life pattern and I shouldn't feel guilty about what I have and haven't done with my life so far. I'm only twenty-four, for god's sake!

4. I've come to accept my gender identity. So, I identify as non-binary, specifically genderqueer. Basically, I don't feel like a man or a woman, or I'm somewhere in the middle, or a little from column A, little from column B. I've felt like this all my life and been aware that I identified that way for years and years... but I never really accepted it. Presenting myself as a butch/boyish lesbian was easier for people to understand. Existing in the space between two genders was terrifying, so I just didn't really... talk about it or think about it all that much. I mean, I would mention it if it came up, but it was always under a sort of caveat of "But I'm still a woman, mostly!" or "But I'm never going to change my name or get surgery!" And well, neither of those things are necessarily true. I was hiding because I was scared to be myself, that no-one would understand, that no-one would want to date me, that I was just a) cisgender and wanting to be a special snowflake, b) a trans guy in denial, c) incredibly sexist by thinking being masculine meant I couldn't be a woman, d) incredibly sexist by thinking by being feminine I couldn't be a man. Yeah. My brain is exhausting.

Basically at some point I just kind of went, fuck it. Fuck all that fear, I'm just going to be me and do what I want to do and identify what feels right to me, and if that doesn't make sense to other people, that's not my problem. I started using they/them pronouns in some situations, started using the more gender neutral name Gee, stopped worrying that every time I wore a binder it meant I was actually a guy and every time I wore a dress I was actually a girl. And you know what? It's wonderful. People have been so much more accepting than I could ever have guessed and there's such a weight off my shoulders now that I can be myself.

So for the record: I use both Gemma and Gee and she/her and they/them and it doesn't make a huge difference to me what people use. I probably prefer Gee and they/them, but I don't mind one bit if people call me Gemma and she/her, especially if they've always known me as Gemma or they aren't used to using gender neutral pronouns. So, anything goes :)

5. In spite of all the drama in my life, I've actually been reading quite a lot. Last year I read 100 books on the dot, and with just over a week left of 2016 I'm on 127 with five more on the go. I've read some wonderful books in the last few months, and my drafts are full of reviews I started but never finished. Hopefully I should get to do a round up before the year's out.


So, there we have it, a brief tour through my crazy life. Fingers crossed that as soon as my essays are done and handed in (why does my university want to ruin Christmas, why) I'll have a bit more time to spend on the blog. So many exciting things are coming up! There's Bout of Books, which unfortunately falls the week before my assignments are due- or fortunately? Be a good excuse to squeeze in some relaxing reading breaks between writing essays. There's Bex's re-readathon (which I'm actually co-hosting, eep). There's the Discworldathon, also by Bex, which I'm very excited about- I've only read a few Terry Pratchett books and I've been meaning to get into him more, so this is the perfect excuse.

Anyway, it's been good to catch up. Hope you all have a lovely Christmas with lots of books and tasty food :)

Minireviews: Hark! A Vagrant, Different Seasons, and We Should All Be Feminists

I've really dropped the ball on writing reviews lately... oops. Part of the problem is that I've been rereading a lot, and writing reviews of rereads is quite difficult- as they tend to be books I love, and there's not much more I want to say other than the odd comment on new things I've picked up on, and the rest is just me going READ THIS, READ THIS NOWWW IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

But, yeah. Here's some reviews all the same.

Hark! A Vagrant! by Kate Beaton
So the problem with having such a groaningly large pile of unread books (185ish, at last count...) is that there are so many books I was super excited to read when I bought them and then just... didn't. I have no excuses for this one in particular, as it's short and consists of comics. I read most of it while waiting for my mother to come out of a doctor's appointment, actually.

In case you haven't met the delightful Kate Beaton's work yet, she writes short, funny comics based mostly on history or classic literature. My favourites are, as you can probably guess, the ones based on books I particularly love. For example, Sherlock Holmes:



And the Brontes:



I seriously love it.

But yeah, there's some ones about things I don't necessarily get (Canadian history, hello) but mostly this book was delightful. So much so that I immediately bought Beaton's next book, Step Aside Pops after I finished this. You can also find most of her stuff online but having it in book form is just so much nicer, ya know?

Different Seasons by Stephen King

First of all I want to complain about this book's many titles. It's known as Different Seasons, The Shawshank Redemption, Apt Pupil AND Stand By Me, depending on the edition. To make matters worse, my copy says Different Seasons on the spine but The Shawshank Redemption on the cover. This is greatly annoying to me.

Anyway. This is a collection of four novellas: Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption, Apt Pupil, The Body, and The Breathing Method. The first three of these were made into movies, none of which I've ever seen.

Stephen King tends to be pretty hit or miss for me, and likewise I enjoyed some of these more than the others. Apt Pupil was by far my favourite- it's about a teenage boy who discovers his elderly neighbour is a former Nazi commander, and they end up in this really twisted codependent relationship of blackmail and lies. It was really interesting to read from a psychological point of view, and the passages that deal with the Holocaust really bring home that real horror exists in real life. Which is the most terrifying thing of all, really.

The Body (which became the movie Stand By Me) was less about a body than about growing up and coming from a broken childhood. The whole thing was really well written and I enjoyed it a lot.

The Breathing Method is a weird little piece of genuine horror, which is hard to describe without giving away the ending.

Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption was probably my least favourite of the bunch, to be honest. It's interesting as far as anyone escaping from prison is interesting, but it didn't really do much for me.

Overall then: I liked this a lot. It's definitely not up with my favourite Stephen Kings, but it's still in the top half of my mental ranking.

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

This is another book I should file under 'SHOULD REALLY HAVE READ BEFORE NOW'. But I don't even really remember buying it, and it wasn't even on comprehensive list of books I own but haven't read- which has led me to fear the number is actually far exceeding the 185ish...

Anyway. This is based on a TED talk Adichie gave, based on, well, read the title. When it comes to me reading about feminism it really is a case of preaching to the choir, but this one was interesting on the argument that feminism is for everyone, not just white Western women. Which, yes. If I hear one more person say that only rich white Western women worry about feminism, I think I'll scream, because hello, feminism is a worldwide movement concerned with everything from rape culture in Ameican colleges to FGM in Somalia. Anyway. This is well-argued, short, succinct, and you can read it in 10 minutes. So there's no excuse :)

#20BooksOfSummer Wrap Up & RIP

Way back in June, you might remember that I was super excited to spend my summer reading books and stumbled across the #20BooksOfSummer thingy, which I wrote about here. My plan was to read much more than 20 books, and in the end, I read 25. Yay! Out of those, 11 of those were on my original book pile list, and I'm still reading another two. So, all round better than I expected.

The next reading thingy is RIP (Readers Imbibing Peril), a challenge to read more creepy/scary/spooky/mysterious books in the lead up to Hallowe'en. I'm all for this- looking forward to Hallowe'en is the best way to chase those post summer blues! I'm going to be taking part in the first level, which is reading four books that fit the theme of the challenge before 31st October.

I actually don't read this sort of genre that much... but two books I'm currently in the middle of fit the bill, so that's a good start! The two books in question are Ghost Story by Peter Straub, which I've been reading forever because my library e-book keeps expiring, and The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, which maybe isn't scary exactly but there's a murder in it, so that'll do.

As far as the others go... I actually want to use this time to reread some books that handily fit the criteria! Here's a few I'd like to get around to reading:

- Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry- the definitive book about the Manson case. I loved this when I read it a few years ago and I've been looking for an excuse to reread it. The Manson case is so disturbing on so many levels- the violence and horror of the murders themselves, and then the cult element which is fascinating to me. This book also functions as a riveting courtroom drama which is so interesting to read.

- Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ranson Riggs - I read this when it came out and don't remember it very well, so I need to reread it before the movie comes out. Owes its place in this list purely because of those photographs *shudders*

- Night Film by Marisha Pessl - Seriously creepy book about the apparent suicide of the daughter of a cult horror movie director, and all sorts of messed up stuff about the family arises. This book has multimedia elements which I missed out on during my first read as I didn't have a phone capable of reading the QR codes. So, I obviously need to remedy that and get the full experience!

I also recently bought My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix as part of a big birthday money/gift voucher book splurge and I'm super excited to read it. It's by the author of Horrorstör which was surprisingly good (and possibly another candidate for rereading soon). This is another multimedia adventure- I've got the enhanced e-book edition- and it even includes an 80s Spotify playlist. So, super exciting!

So, that's the plan for the next couple of months. What are you planning to read in the lead up to Hallowe'en? :)